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I just went over the top 10 for 2013 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2013 fantasy baseball.  Most of you know how I feel about catchers.  If you draft a catcher any time before the first 100 picks, you don’t know how I feel about catchers.  Let me freshen up your cocktail with a splash of insight.  I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues.  I Reggie Roby them.  Molina, Pierzynski, Wilin Rosario were all in the top 5 for catchers last year.  Their average draft pick was around 250 overall last year.  The bottom of the top 20 for last year consisted of Napoli, McCann and Jesus Montero.  Their average draft slot was around 70.  It’s like this every year.  In 2011, Napoli and Avila were ranked second and third at the end of the year with Wieters and Posey disappointing, going into the year it was nothing like that.  Catchers are unreliable to stay healthy; the job is grueling and takes its toll on offensive stats.  Then, there’s not much difference between, say, the fifth best catcher and nothingness.  Wilin Rosario was the fifth best catcher last year.  As late as July of last year, he could’ve been picked up off waivers in some leagues.  Finally, the best catcher last year and the NL MVP was the 27th best player according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  That’s the best year you can hope from him and he was still only ranked 27th overall.  You’re paying a premium for a catcher, who would be the 8th best outfielder.  The third best 2nd baseman.  The fifth best first baseman.  The fifth best 3rd baseman.  Only shortstops were worst, and I say punt them too.  Yes, I am saying punt the positions that are most scarce.  Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-two (John Jaso?  Belch.); some of you might want to know the top catchers.  You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Alex Avila.  In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them.  You can see other top 20 lists for 2013 fantasy baseball under 2013 fantasy baseball rankings.  Listed along with these catchers are my 2013 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2013 fantasy baseball:

1. Buster Posey – This is the first tier.  This tier goes from here until Mauer.  I call this tier, “These are the best.  Well, la di da.”  That tier name is also a Jewel poem title.  I went over Posey in the top 20 for 2013 fantasy baseball.

2. Carlos Santana – I considered putting Santana third and Wieters here, then I thought about how you shouldn’t draft either so whatever, but then I thought even if I’m telling you not to draft them I should still rank them correctly, then I took a nap, then I woke up and thought about how kitchen appliances haven’t changed much since the invention of the microwave — weren’t we supposed to get hydrators by now?  Then I remembered I was ranking catchers and put Santana here.  He made solid gains in his strikeout rate.  His fly balls were down a bit (literally), but his line drives bounced back (not literally; that would be dangerous).  He should’ve been better last year = He should be better this year.  Wieters or Santana or both are going to have their best seasons to date as they enter their prime.  It’s all very exciting, wake me when I get to a tier I can draft from.  2013 Projections:  79/26/94/.259/3

3. Matt Wieters – Watching the transformation of Wieters from top prospect to top catcher is like watching a slow motion video of a flower blooming.  Hey, here comes the pistil!  *seven months later*  I think that’s a petal!  It’ll be beautiful one day, but, man, this is taking forever.  2013 Projections:  71/24/85/.264/2

4. Joe Mauer – I have him lower than most other fantasy baseball ‘perts because I can’t understand why anyone would draft a catcher as high as Mauer’s going when he’s a 10-ish homer, 7-ish steal guy.  As far as I’m concerned, I’m not down on Mauer.  Everyone else is, in the sexual way.   He plays in a terrible park, his lineup looks it was ravaged by West Nile virus and he hits ground balls like he’s a middle infielder.  Only five players had a worse fly ball percentage last year:  Ben Revere, Jeter, Jamey Carroll, Howie Kendrick and Elvis Andrus.  A lack-of-power hitters after him on the list continues:  Alcides, Michael Young, Denard Dawg, Ichiro, Bourn… Does this sound like a group of hitters you want a player associated with if they have only 10 steal upside?  The short answer is no.  The long answer is nooooooooooo.  2013 Projections:  83/13/89/.315/7

5. Salvador Perez – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Napoli.  I call this tier, “I’ll draft these guys if they fall to the right spot.”  By the tier name, I mean I’m definitely punting only the top tier of catchers, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — I’m also not reaching for any of these guys.  They’d have to fall a few rounds past their average draft spot.  As much as I like this tier, I’d also gladly wait until the last rounds for a catcher.  In 76 games (289 ABs), he hit 11 homers and .301, missing the rest of the time due to a meniscus tear in Spring Training.  At a Latin 22 years old, Perez’s 2012 76-game showcase should be seen merely as the tip of the iceberg, right ahead!  Out of 28 catchers that had at least 300 plate appearances, Perez was number one for strikeout rate.  He was beyond excellent with an under 9% strikeout rate.  This alone would lead me to believe there’s no way he hits below .285 without some hideous luck and there’s a chance he hits something like .320.  He doesn’t walk at all, but I’m willing to give him a slight bye here because his contact rate is so strong.  As the guy who smelled like Schlitz in Little League told you, put the ball into play and good things happen.   The best real world example is Yadier “Don’t Call Me Alfred” Molina.  I worry Perez won’t hit power for a few years, but he could develop it.  11 homers last year makes me think (or methinks, if leprechauns are reading) the power is developing.  He’s not going to come at the end of your drafts, but he should outperform his draft slot.  2013 Projections:  62/19/79/.312

6. Victor Martinez – I’m surprised by the general consensus I’ve seen with drafting Victor Martinez.  So, surprised I almost wrote a sleeper post for him, but what a snoozefest that would be.  Also, I was so surprised about his average draft position that I looked at his fielding statistics twice to make sure he has catcher eligibility.  He is.  Damn, I just looked a third time.  I also looked at his most recent news to make sure I didn’t miss something about him not being ready for 2013.  He’ll be ready.  The last season he played, he was the number one catcher for fantasy.  He’s 34 years old now and coming off a lost season.  That’s not great, but he’ll also be DH’ing this year.  All he has to do is hit, which he’s done every season since 2004.  I have a strong feeling I’m going to be owning V-Mart this year.  2013 Projections:  82/15/105/.307

7. Wilin Rosario – I nearly dropped Wilin more because I have a sick feeling that Wilin is headed for a sophomore slump, though that could be the Thai I just ate.  The reason why he’s in this tier that I like?  I have one word for you:  plastics!  Wait, that’s my wrong note card.  Coors, that’s the reason.  He could hit 25 homers there with nothing else and be worth the draft pick.  2013 Projections:  58/25/75/.252/3

8. Jesus Montero – I sure pray Jesus doesn’t have a sophomore slump, which makes me think of a potential comedy.  A newly resurrected Jesus just doesn’t have his mojo from 30 AD.  “I turned water into wine, but now everyone wants a microbrew.”  In the right hands, that could be hilarious.  In the wrong hands, that could be a YouTube video that is being investigated by the CIA.  Montero’s first half was a mess (.245, 28 RBIs, 8 homers) and his 2nd half wasn’t spectacular but better (.278, 34 RBIs, 7 homers in 30 less at-bats).  He won’t be anything worth getting crazy excited about until he can fix his lefty/righty splits.  Last year, he hit .228 vs. righties.  Belch.  The one thing that helps parachute his miserableness vs. righties is he DHs a decent amount, adding to his counting stats.  2013 Projections:  66/18/84/.269

9. Mike Napoli – I stepped away from the Napoli hype machine last year when he was being drafted in the top 70.  There was no way he was hitting for a good average again.  I will now put that sentiment to bed.  That Sentiment, “Wait, could you read me one more story about how you still like Longoria even though he sucked for the last two years?”  Now there’s major question marks about Napoli’s hip and people are saying it could go at any moment or in five years.  For the right price, I’ll take the 25 homer potential with the risk that his hip will be fine this year.  2013 Projections:  64/23/77/.242/2

10. Jonathan Lucroy – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until McCann.  I call this tier, “Five Shades of Grey.” What I mean by the tier name is the five players in this tier go from “I kinda like them” to “I kinda hate them” with shades of like and hate differentiating them with the middle guy leaving me indifferent.  Lucroy was a beast vs. the Cubs (4 homers, 20 RBIs, .350 average in 40 ABs).  Against everyone else he was pretty mediocre.  I kinda like (see?) Lucroy because he was the 11th best catcher season last year and he missed almost two months.  At 26 years old, there’s a chance for some upside here.  2013 Projections: 61/16/76/.272

11. Miguel Montero – I kinda like (see again?!) Montero a little less than Lucroy (man, these rankings are making sense now!).  Montero looks completely capable of repeating his 2012 season (15 homers, .286), but under the surface there’s some issues.  His strikeout rate ballooned to 22.7% and he had a .362 BABIP.  He could have easily hit .260 or worse last year.  That would hurt his counting stats, which is propping up his perceived value.  2013 Projections:  59/16/76/.270

12. Yadier Molina – Here’s indifference.  Molina was the second best catcher last year, but I have him 12th?! What gives, Grey-mo-sabi?  Well, Random Italicized Voice, that’s a good question.  Yeah, no kidding.  That’s why I asked.  Now stop with the preambles and give me some info.  Okay, so Molina had a sub-10 HR/FB% coming into last year.  Then in 2012 it was 13.8%.  It’s been steadily climbing, but so is his age.  A career year at thirty years old is improbable.  A year when he hit more homers than his previous two seasons combined is silly.  I’m not into silly.  His steals last year were the two previous years combined, too.  That’s ludicrous.  I’m not into ludicrous, though Word of Mouf was a decent album.  Maybe Molina found the fountain of youth, maybe he’s Benjamin Button.  Whatever the case, I’m not buying in.  2013 Projections:  58/13/68/.295/6

13. A.J. Pierzynski – You know how the day after every fantasy draft you go to a t-shirt printing shop to have your team’s jersey made with every player’s last name?  I’d hold off on adding Pierzynski’s, and not simply because the place charges per letter.  I don’t buy that Texas is gonna stave off him reverting to what he was every year, except last.  2013 Projections:  51/15/60/.265

14. Brian McCann –  I’ve been a McCann apologist for a few years now.  Or if McCann reads Razzball, then I’m an enabler.  I’m officially done with him.  Not because I don’t think he’s a capable hitter (there I go apologizing for him again), but he had shoulder surgery that will cause him to miss the first couple of weeks of the season.  A couple of weeks isn’t a huge deal.  When I was a teenager, I once had an erection for a few weeks straight and that wasn’t a big deal.  Sideways emoticon.  I’m not drinking any f**king Merlot!  Shoulder problems can linger for a hitter.  I wouldn’t go near McCann this year.  2013 Projections:  40/12/57/.242

15. Alex Avila – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Arencibia.  I call this tier, “You’ve punted the position almost completely, now what?”  As I say in the next tier’s name, there’s a good chance you don’t have any of these guys for longer than a week or until someone emerges from waivers.  Can Avila revert to his value post-2011 when he looked headed for 20+ homers, .300+?  I have no clue, but he’s worth a flyer to find out.  Even if he just splits the difference between his terrific 2011 and miserable 2012, he’ll be terrable, which would make Charles Barkley happy. 2013 Projections: 48/16/60/.262/2

16. J.P. Arencibia – Before anyone comments that this tier’s projections look better than, say, McCann but are lower than him.  I’ll say this tier’s projections look good but there’s a lot of risk involved with them.  More than even McCann.  If you draft Arencibia, he will hit 30 homers and .255 on your team or 2 homers and .056.  I’ll explain.  You draft him and he’s hot in April.  You actually hold onto him because he never cools off, so he gets 30 homers on your team.  Or you draft him, suffer through a 2-for-36 stretch with his only two hits being homers and you drop him.  There was also a J.P. Arencibia sleeper post.  2013 Projections: 45/21/73/.237/1

17. Ryan Doumit – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Iannetta.  I call this tier, “Draft these guys so you can drop them the first week of the season for the hot catcher off of waivers.”  Here’s you, “Yo, Grey, you sexy beast, question:  should I drop Doumit for John Jaso?”  Me, “The season hasn’t started yet.”  “I know, Holmes, I ain’t a complete moron.”  “You drafted Doumit and you want to drop him already.”  “I see your point.  How about dropping Doumit for A.J. Ellis?”  2013 Projections: 44/15/62/.268

18. Jarrod Saltalamacchia – Salty’s the kind of guy I would normally like, but the Red Sox might have Napoli, David Ross and a lurking Ryan Lavarnway.  Salty better throw his little brother over his shoulder for some good luck, otherwise he’s looking at a huge decrease in playing time, especially with his contact rates.   2013 Projections:  38/17/53/.217

19. A.J. Ellis – No relation to Doc Ellis, but you might be on LSD if you draft him.  2013 Projections:  45/9/51/.264

20. Russell Martin – He agreed to a two-year deal this offseason with the Pirates after he heard the one city Alyssa Milano would never visit is Pittsburgh.  2013 Projections: 44/14/58/.239/5

21. Chris Iannetta – The good news for Iannetta last year is he figured out early on that if you want to catch games for Scioscia, you can’t be good offensively.  That’s the bad news too.  2013 Projections:  40/15/53/.246/1

After the top 20 catchers for 2013 fantasy baseball there’s a lot of names, but these five stand out:

Derek Norris – Loud Voice, “He could hit 15 homers and steal 10 bases!”  Quiet Voice, “And hit .190.”  2013 Projections: 42/13/60/.205/7

Tyler Flowers – Last year in 153 plate appearances, he had a 36.6 % strikeout rate.  If he qualified for the batting title, that would’ve been the worst strikeout rate of any hitter since 1900 when “No-Eyes” Buck Winston struckout 587 times in 588 at-bats.  Though, the record was removed from the books the next year when baseball began to require eyes.  Ironically, his one hit was a seeing-eye single up the middle.  2013 Projections:  40/14/52/.200/3

Carlos Ruiz – Suspended for the first twenty-five games of 2013 due to testing positive for ADD medicine, Adderall.  Ruiz said, “I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done–Hey, what’s that?  A number two pencil?  I used to use those for standardized tests in Panama.  Like I was saying, this suspension is a disgrace to me, my family and– Are those shoes comfortable?  I get bunions.  One time, I got this bunion and I drew a face on it and called it, “Billy.”  Billy stayed with me for three years.  He’d keep me up at night, talking my ear off.  So annoying.  Like Gleek, the Wonder Twins monkey sidekick.  What were we talking about again?”  Hmm, maybe Ruiz needed that Adderall, after all. 2013 Projections:  44/9/53/.274/3

Yasmani Grandal – Suspended for the first 50 games of the season due to testing positive for testosterone.  Experts have said testosterone adds as much as eight to ten feet on long drives.  In related news, Padres announced they are moving in their fences eight to ten feet.  2013 Projections:  32/10/48/.292

Travis d’Arnaud – I went over my Travis d’Arnaud 2013 fantasy.  I wrote it while wondering if his full name is Travis doode’Arnaud.  2013 Projections:  40/16/56/.283/3 in 375 ABs