RAZZBALLERS: Life Force: Inspiration, Love, and Laughs!

Watching my guys go 1-12 and I want to vent.
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Simply Fred
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Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:15 am

RAZZBALLERS: Life Force: Inspiration, Love, and Laughs!

Postby Simply Fred » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:20 pm

AL KOHOLIC Says: August 4th, 2009: “holy cow razzballers,ive heard of floods before but never been in one,5 foot of water in the our basement /master bedroom,almost covered our pool,my frikin garage was 4 foot deep,my car was under to the windshield,canoes and boats going by,going to cut into my razz time for the next month but ill need this for an outlet from time to time,hey i saved the dogs and went to help my neighbor(yes i had a woodford and cigar in hand)arg,,couch days are over,but im sure ill lose about 20 pounds in the near future,now i need a great night for my teams to slightly lift my spirits(ha,get it? Spirits”
Grey Says: August 4th, 2009: “Sorry to hear that AL. Good that you saved the dogs and stogies.”
Paulie Allnuts Says: “Sorry to hear about the flood. I even hope that your Commenter team makes some ground up tonight, (except on my team, of course!), to mellow your feelings.”
AL KOHOLIC Says: “yeah thanks guys,be a long week,but we arent doing without,life is still good” Adam Says: “I’m in the Eastern Iowa area that got pounded with historically bad floods last summer, although I’m far enough off the lake that I wasn’t directly impacted, I definitely feel your pain”
AL KOHOLIC Says: August 6th, 2009: “im here guys,keep me going,i think guys that were either fat or non athletes when younger can handle being fat and out of shape better than guys that were always in shape till they were 35,im 45 now temp. laid off,got all the house and yard work done4 weeks ago and this hard work is killing me(the flood sucked but sadly i needed the motivation to cut the roots from my ass and the couch to get going)but seriously to all that kinda know me,it wasnt that bad,no sewage and muck in the flash flood,the yard and roads look 100% normal only lost 1 bedroom suit washer dryer,fixed the ac/furnace and gotta gutt the basement and re-finish,oh and my junky car(the ole lady in the mazzarotti was at work)and few grand and about 4 inches off the gutt and we`ll be running fine,o.k. her car isnt a mazzarotti buts its only a year old,coulda been much much worse,really thankfull for everything.my teams are doing better without me,i feel like dusty baker”
AL KOHOLIC Says: August 7th, 2009: “@Grey: why do good stories have sad endings,,truly sorry for your loss,thats why you wont see me getting all pouty or down-n-out,life is good,you know the saying,LIVE,LAUGH AND LOVE,because you never know”

Al doesn't stand alone (but maybe is at the front of the line):

Quintero Says: “Dear Fellow Razzballer, I am a resident in Beijing, China for five years now and I’ve been a fantasyballer for twelve years. I have something to share. Today is the third day that I can’t log-on Yahoo! and ESPN, and I feel my life is going to fall apart.This kind of thing happen regularly here in China, first it’s Youtube, then Facebook, then MLB.com, NBA.com, Y! and ESPN. I might understand why the first two, but sports sites? Doesn’t make any sense in anyway. In a semi-not-so-much-but-still pathetic move, I Skyped my girl friend in New York to help me set my teams’ lineups. Three days is really no that big a deal, out of town, vacation on Fiji…I can live with three days without fantasy. But rest of the season? rest of my years in China? rest of my life? Those are the scary ideas…Considering Youtube and Facebook never came back…What if this happen to you guys? Is there anyone who got some wisdom to share. Very appreciate…
Grey: “That’s really a shame. I imagine blocking Razzball makes more sense. There’s no way around their security restrictions? Though that might get you locked up. Imagine you got locked up for playing fantasy baseball. That would make an awesome episode of Locked Up Abroad. If there’s anything I can do, let me know. Obviously, short of changing your lineups for you.”
Quintero Says: “@Grey: Thanks for the comfort words, you guys are like the cornbreads which made in heaven… Please continuing your good work at Razzball, so that I can imagine that I’m still playing…Imagine is the key-word of the day for me.”
AL KOHOLIC Says: “sorry to hear that man,i go visit my mom in southern IL. small town and she can only get dial up,it takes like 30 minutes to pick a player up,but your deal is worse,good luck”
Quintero Says: “Shout out to crew who got the under-sea cables fixed, fantasy access is back in my life. I’m thankful.”

The Birth of Razzball, December 26, 2007, by Rudy Gamble: “Razz is a card game similar to Texas Hold-em where the object is to have the worst hand possible. The objective of Razzball is to compile the worst fantasy baseball team possible.” Founded on Fun!

Did a search on “spit” to get a quick list of a few of Grey's humorous offerings:

“Aaron Harang – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks. Last year when you owned Harang, it was like he put a sweaty glass down on your Reggie Jackson rookie card while he made a sex tape with your ex-wife. This year he’s paying for your kids’ private school education. Cha-ching!”Rob Says: “Your Harang comment is classic. I almost spit out my orange juice laughing so hard. Have a great 4th of July”

“Mets – Turns out they were staying at the same hotel in Pittsburgh as a Furries convention. It’s fitting because the Mets have been screwing the pooch.” Paper Tiger Says: “Damn Grey. I just spit Lucky Charm shrapnel all over my keyboard thanks to the Mets comment. Now I’m going to have to leave my mom’s basement to get a new one and you know how I hate personal interaction.”

“Ricky Nolasco – 3 1/3 IP, 10 ER. It could’ve been worse. Between innings he could’ve been having sex with your wife.” Commish Cauda (formerly Mike) Says: “I spit up my coffee all over my laptop after reading the Nolasco comment. Too funny. The one about Markakis was pretty good too. Never change, Grey.”

“Nick Johnson – Left with a hamstring injury. He seemed to be in good spirits after the game, smiling in locker room pictures.” Bill B Says: “Grey, great freaking Nick Johnson comment.Almost spit out the coffee on the monitor when I read that.”

“Adrian Beltre – Expected to be activated for today’s game as he was able to take grounders again off his nuts.” BSA Says: “Beltre comment made me spit out my Cheerios.”

Paulie Allnuts: “Are you and Grey saying that I shouldn’t be feeling excruciating shame and guilt over my decision to start George of the Rose in three Yahoo leagues, resulting in my WHIP and ERA being shizzed upon to the point of utter hopelessness? I thought of going to Rudy or AL KOHOLIC for some self esteem sessions; then I realized that Baron’s pic looks a bit like Sigmund Freud, so maybe he will let me free associate on his couch.”

Simply Fred: I recently lost one of my best friends, 14-yr-old golden retriever Lilly. One month ago another friend was active without a care, today he's in a wheelchair with but months to live. My best friend just diagnosed yesterday with Hodgkins Disease. Somedays it is tough to see the joy. But, I know LIFE IS GOOD! (From my best friend: "Thanks for your support, we will get through this and enjoy the next 30 years. I have the greatest positive attitude I could have and know that things will work. I have to go blow the counch in Maui, no way am I going to let this get me. Bad news, my hair looks great, good news, I can paint a W on the bald and be a real dawg fan.")
Thank you Al.
Thank you Grey.
Thank you Rudy.
Thank you Razzballers All.

(Keep our band of brothers (and sisters!) together. Donate a Daiquiri.)

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Re: RAZZBALLERS: Life Force: Inspiration, Love, and Laughs!

Postby Grey » Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:15 pm

That's sad to hear, Fred. Glad we could bring some joy into your life.
Grey Albright

If you want me to look at your team, post the team. Don't post a link to another site where the team is.
Have you given me all the info I need to judge your team? The number of teams in the league is a good start for the big overall questions.
Is your league H2H? Roto?
I don't know who's on your waivers. Don't just ask me who you should pick up. Give me names to choose from.
If you only have one team, post your team in your signature with the league parameters.
I don't know every single matchup for next week, so if you want me to choose a player for the following week and you think the matchups are important, tell me who they're facing.
There's more than one player with the same last name? Then spell out who you're talking about.

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