Grey is indisposed and asked if I would take a look see at the comings and goings in fake baseball land. So here I am. Not sure which to focus more on, the comings or the goings, but we’ll see how it goes or comes.
The more I watch baseball the more I hate pitchers. They are always getting hurt. They throw the ball right in front of the guy so all he has to do is stick this wooden club out there and hit it! Just throw it away from him! Maybe into the outfield or something? And relievers are the worst. SAGNOF is funny sounding and all, but lord have mercy; it’s a lot of shizztastic work picking up players like Wade Boggs’ uncles’ younger brother’s attorney at law Mitchell Boggs, but you gotta, and if you are in a league where he is still available, get me into it. ‘Perts always say, hey, you gotta get in a better league if that guy is still on the wire. Um, hey ‘pert, doesn’t that mean I don’t have to live in New Zealand so I can be a day ahead of everyone which in turn will let me pick up all the choice SAGNOFers? Wait, I would rather live in New Zealand, but if you live in frickin’ New Zealand why the hell are you sitting on your computer trying to pick up relievers!? Go outside! So anyway, Mr. Boggs was given the first save opportunity from TLR. He gave up a hit, but recorded the save and is the guy to own until something else happens which makes things change in some way.
Lance Berkman: Fat Puma is just taking pitchers down with a swipe to the flanks and then going for the jugular. In his last 7 games he’s had 13 hits, 6 home runs, 14 RBIs, and the love of a good woman. Will he keep this going? If I were a wagering man I’d say you are playing with house money at this point.
Geovany Soto: Soto went 0-4 on 4/20.
Matt Joyce: MJ went 2 for 3 yesterday with 2 doubles or is that two 2bs? Anywho, he started the season 1 for 20 and has been 14 for 30 since. If you do the math I think the latter is better.
Jose Reyes: He went 4 for 5 with 2 stolen bases and has hit safely in 15 of 18 games. I think our man Grey probably got you to draft him in your league. Thank me and I’ll tell Rudy and he’ll tell Grey and then Grey will tell the guy that writes all his posts.
Ricky Nolasco: He K’d 8 through 7 innings and gave up 4 hits in a win over the Buccos. Nolasco doesn’t seem to want to break out like he should, but he can do this to teams like the Pirates. Gotta take the good, the bad, learn some facts of life, etc…
Mike Napoli: Supposedly the addition of Taylor Teagarden will give Yorvit Torrealba (who names these people?) a backup and will help Napoli get more time at DH because he won’t have to be the emergency backup catcher, phew! And if that’s not how it works out? Va Fa Napoli! to all ya’ll!
Seth Smith: He went 2 for 3 with 3 runs and 2 RBIs against the Giants, which is not too shabby and nobody in their right mind wants to be shabby. Smith will probably sit against lefties, but thankfully there are still people out there forcing their children to be right handed so the devil won’t have easy access to their souls.
Drew Storen: He recorded a 4 out save against the Cards yesterday. It’s looking more and more likely that Storen will be the guy as long as he doesn’t go Brad Lidge on us.
Ryan Franklin: Still not good.
Adam Dunn: Big Donkey Puncher and the donkey punchettes are losing like it’s going out of style, and Dunn is sucking like it is also going out of style (neither will ever go out of style). I’d buy low on Dunn. When (if) Chicago warms up he’ll have no trouble sending baseballs into Lake Michigan.
Jered Weaver: Just to prove that not all pitchers suck, Weaver is going all Cy Young crazy on the American League and had a complete game win with 8 K’s against a tough Rangers team in a tough ballpark. He’s now 5-0 and on pace for a 600 K’s and 50 wins or something around there. I’d trade any pitcher, so I’m always on the sell high train with them, but there’s also no reason to think he’s going to pull a Baldy Jimenez on us either.
