Yo, it’s me, I’m back in the flesh! Well, I’ve never been in the flesh on this site. At least not yet. Give me some time, I’ve been giving out my phone number to TMZ in the hopes I get hacked so they can gain access to all my deepest, dirtiest secrets. But until that day, I keep grinding away at Daily Fantasy. Heck, I love it so much I’m doing DraftKings Football for Razzball as well. Speaking of football, did ya miss me last week? You really shouldn’t have. I gave you a Saturday article leading with Vidal Nuno the morning I departed to Chicago for Razzball Radio‘s #32in32in32 tour where Nick Capozzi and I drove around like mad men across these great states and covered a fantasy draft in all the 32 cities with an NFL club. Well, I was there for the final leg of the tour. If you wanna know how the whole thing really went, I’m fielding offers for my interview. I’m thinking Barbara Walters will be calling any time now…yup…any…time…but while I wait for that phone to ring, let’s discuss some Daily Fantasy Baseball. So we got this kid named Marcus Stroman. He’s good…hrm, thought I had more to go on here. Oh, right, the young Cubs. I’m a big proponent of ignoring season stats by about mid-June. Guys who were hot, cool and vice versa, young guys get called up and overperform for a while and another guy strains a muscle but stays in the lineup when he shouldn’t and his stats sag worse than…well, I’m not gonna ADMIT to looking at your g-ma’s boobs so lets just not go there, m’kay? All this to say, I use ‘last 7 days’ and the team stats when I do so. The Cubs are striking out at a heavy rate of 24.6% heading into Sunday’s games. And just to complete my homework, I checked the boxscore from Sunday for them: 12 K, 8 of which came from the starter. They are still a scary lineup in that there’s power up and down it but I think Stroman and his $6,800 sets you up well to spend as needed elsewhere on a semi-shortened Monday night slate. Speaking of said slate, let’s get to it. Here’s our picks for September 8th contests on DraftKings…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Jonathon Niese, SP: $7,100 – Rockies on the road. You know the drill. If you don’t, it’s a black and decker cordless…wait, what? The Rockies just struggle to hit on the road and are traveling to the big boy ballpark of the New York Mess (typo on purpose). If I’m anti-Rocky road stats, I’d pick up Nolan Arenado where and when I could since his ISO against southpaws this year is tenth best in the league. Scary part? He doesn’t even get to face, Matzek, Morales or De La Rosa! Kid’s for real, y’all. Niese has been pretty meh of late but a 20 point outing based on the matchup alone is definitely in range of doable.
Mike Minor, SP: $8,500 – I don’t even like the matchup tonight and I have Minor as my ace for this slate. Now you understand why I’m digging deep on the day. I actually stacked against King Felix when the Nats shellacked him. Even his last outing was less than stellar when put under the microscope. But back to Minor, he started turning the corner in August and hasn’t really looked back. I don’t think he has as much upside as most aces typically have but I also think he should give a 20 point performance.
Doug Fister, SP: $8,900 – So much ugly on this pitching slate tonight. Love Fister but he’s scuffling. A team like Atlanta SHOULD wake him from said slumber as they K a poop-ton but Mr. Fister does most of his DK dirty work by going deep: his K/9 on the year is 5.4. Basically, I’m tentatively suggesting him but feel there are better options. Someone call my gardener…we got a hedge over here!
Dylan Axelrod, SP: $8,100 – A guy who has about 215 innings for his career total over about 4 years shouldn’t be priced this closely to Minor but he is. That’s how bad the slate is. I’m not suggesting him. In fact, I’m suggesting you stack against him. The Cards as a team are surging. Check the lineup and plug in some red birds while Axel gives you some Reggae. PS, that’s my way of saying you’ll be grooving because he’ll be doing the same thing over and over: coughing up runs. You don’t have to watch all 15 minutes, you’ll lose your mind.
Roberto Hernandez, SP: $6,500 – Vegas is leaning towards a win for ‘I Ain’t Fausto’ Hernandez and given the matchup and the price, I’ll give this start a thumbs up on Facebook. I’m only going this route with Stroman if I’m stacking big bats for the day. I’m not expecting 20 points from this start unless the win pushes him over it.
Miguel Gonzalez, SP: $7,600 – Ugh, I’m so done with these arms but it’s hard to ignore the fact that the Red Sox are striking out a ton of late and the Gonzalezaurus – a nickname made for now and which should be quickly forgotten – has pitched extremely well of late. We could have a perfect storm brewing here. I know, hearing ‘my starting pitcher’ and ‘storm brewing’ in the same sentence is unsettling. Just remember it’s an analogy and that Miguel is not actually a strange spanish dinosaur and you’ll be fine.
Juan Lagares, OF: $4,200 – The Mets have the second highest team wOBA and the seventh highest ISO over the last 7 days and Lagares has been doing work during that stint as the leadoff hitter. He’s been running of late – three steals yesterday and seven total over his last eight games – so he doesn’t have to hit a HR to do you some good. Though it would be nice if you could, Juan *hint, hint*. BTW, a Mets stack is a good idea. Consider this a thumbs up for Travis d’Arnaud, David Wright, Dilson Herrera, Matt den Dekker, and Wilmer Flores and a hesitant ok on Lucas Duda: he’s Lucas Doodie at home based on the stats. And that’s the most I’ve written about the Mets all year. How does Eno Sarris put up with this?
Scooter Gennett, 2B/SS: $3,200 – Hard to think Dilson is priced at 4K and our friend Scooter is sitting down here like he’s a utility infielder for the Padres. I remember when Josh Beckett, Brad Penny and AJ Burnett along with Carl Pavano led the Marlins to a World Series victory in 2003. That means I’m old. Brad Penny is older than me and his DK stats show his return to his original baseball home should probably just stop. You kick Hanley Ramirez and Miguel Cabrera out of the house but let the slob of a son back in the house, Loria? Of course you would…I won’t go so far as to say the Brewers are a sneaky stack but I’ll take some cheap parts against a Penny start that should have change coming back on it.
Jose Bautista, OF: $5,700 – Look, it’s not like it takes a rocket scientist to tell you to start Joey Bats but maybe you don’t want to because of the price. Well if you followed some of the cost-cutting on the pitching I suggested above, you should be fine. PS, Jacob Turner’s last turn against the Brewers? 26.7 DK points. And THAT’s why I’m not suggesting a frothy Brew sampler, my friends. I fully expect Turner to get turned down. And please drink responsibly: you know, at home. Where no one judges you for being six beers in by 3 without pants on. Public indecency my eye! It’s indecent to expect me to wear khakis for longer than a few hours!
A.J. Ellis, C: $2,700 – I’m all about d’Arnaud if I can afford him but if you gotta punt your ‘C’, I see one that should work. Nothing grand here, but he’ll be in the lineup, maybe batting 7th and if he scores 5 points, he’s giving you a bonus for how much you paid for him. What, you want me to get you excited about Ellis? Fine, he saves burning orphans in his spare time. Whatever, he’s cheap and if you’re cheap, you two can be cheap together. Bliss.
Chris Carter, 1B: $4,700 – He’s not cheap and no one is gonna start him against the King. But as much as Houston strikes out, it also bombs out. The Astros are bottom five in strikeout rates over the last seven days but they’re also top ten in ISO and wOBA during that same span. Remember that night I told you I stacked Nationals against the King? I won $125. Feel free to get crazy with me as I plan on stacking in such a way yet again today.
Kendrys Morales, 1B/OF: $3,400 – Want some cheaper power potential? Don’t we all. I’ve switched from electric to gerbil wheel. Bills are better but I think I suffered frostbite on my extremities last night and it’s still like 80 around here. Better check the Hermistat. Sorry, gerbil’s name is Herman. Pun was unavoidable. But with Peacock on the mound, there’s always a chance of a Mariners scoring binge. You know, two singles, a double, a passed ball and a ground out. That could be like three runs! Sorry, hard to sell an M’s stack but it’s also not the craziest thing, even if Vegas doesn’t get behind it.
Jedd Gyorko, 2B/3B: $3,000 – Look, I told you I wasn’t excited about Roberto. I’m literally suggesting a mendoza line hitter but it really comes down to styles. Fausto the Former gives up a lot of fly balls and Gyorko hits a lot of them and sometimes, those two flyball tendencies share their lives together and have a flyball baby and name it ‘Homer’. And now you know how the Simpsons father was born. It’s all or nothing with Jedd for the most part but at $3K, you can deal with that.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
Only place that seems to have rain problems is Seattle. But up in the Pacific Northwest, we don’t call rain a ‘problem’, we call it a ‘lifestyle’. We’re all attending aquaholics anonymous…but for real, retractable roof. You know. LIKE EVERY FRICKIN MODERN STADIUM BUILT SHOULD HAVE. But I guess rain outs and frantic rescheduling is just better for the game and more fun or somethin’.
Doing Lines In Vegas
Vegas says the SEAvsHOU game stays under 7 for the night with an o/u of 6 1/2. Pretty clear what side of the ‘/’ I stand on based on my picks/talks above. The big line for the day is the BOSvsBAL game at o/u 9. It’ll really depend on if Ortiz is back in the lineup or not along with Napoli. It also depends on if a team that’s out of it has one of those ‘I actually give a damn today’ games and shows up. Hard to say but I could see this one going under, honestly. Meanwhile, dat Mets stack got my ‘o’ face going on the 7 o/u for NYMvsCOL.
