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Ryan Doumit went from sleeper to 2nd tier fantasy catcher last year after he managed to take a year off from his Glass Joe impersonation that dogged him throughout 2006-2007 (2006 = 89 games missed w/ hamstring issues, 2007 = 26 games missed with wrist, and then 20 games with ankle).  Actually, he missed 27 games last year with thumb (20), concussion ( 5 ) and the flu (two separate days), so even when he’s healthy he’s “merely a flesh wound” away from the DL.  He’s now out for 8-10 weeks.  Punt!  (Or stash him on your DL if it’s empty.)  I’d look at Baker, Salty, Shoppach or Hundley, all those names depend on league depth, of course.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ian Stewart – Has played 5 games in OF (3 started).  He’s 5 games played away from OF eligibility in Yahoo! and ESPN.  He’s already eligible in Yahoo! for 2B and is 8 games away from ESPN eligibility.  With the way he’s hitting (and Seth Smith and Spilborghs are slumping), he might get OF eligibility by the end of April.  As for 2B, don’t count on it.  He’s lucky to get 1 start a week there so maybe you’re talking sometime in late June – unless Barmes gets hurt (what are the exacta odds on Helton and Barmes being on the DL at the same time by end of May?)

Brandon Wood – Called up yesterday.  Wood has the oh-so-coveted superfecta of eligibility.  He should be picked up in all 12 team leagues and deeper.  I’d put his projections at 17/10, .250.  There’s upside on the power and speed and downside on the average.  Granted, I’m a big fan of Wood in the right situations, especially if you’re trying to start a fire.

Freddy Sanchez – Dirty Sanchez hit a HR yesterday off Anibal Sanchez, while Gaby Sanchez wishes he could’ve seen it.

Manny Parra – 4 IP, 5 ER, 4 Ks.  See he does strikeout a guy an inning! And walk a guy an inning.  And give up a run every inning.  I hate to defend this crappy of a performance, but there was a play that knocked Weeks out of the game that should’ve been the 2nd out of the 4 run 1st.

Kenshin Kawakami – 5 IP, 2 ER.  I watched this game because I had both team’s pitchers.  Let’s just say I wanted one to get the Win and one to get the Loss and it didn’t work out how I wanted.  Kawakami looked sloppy at times and other times overpowering with junk, if that’s possible.

Brian McCann – Fitted with new contact lenses and should be fine.  Now is it me or don’t you think when you’re paying someone almost $4 million for 6 months of work you’d have an eye doctor on call to check on contact lenses?  He missed games because of this mishegoss?  What the eff?

Brandon McCarthy – 6 IP, 3 ER. Still giving up too many homers.

Franklin Morales – Left in the 3rd with shoulder pain.  Um, not good.

Aaron Laffey – 7 IP, 1 ER.  Two decent outings with him keeping the ball down.  He gets the Twins next time out.  They couldn’t hit a home run if you spotted them to 2nd base.

Nelson Cruz – Hit his 6th HR yesterday.  Could hit 35 HRs and bat .260.  Cust kayin’.

Cameron Maybin – First HR yesterday.  That’s so Maybin!

Oliver Perez – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER.  He will give you severe heartburn.

Clayton Kershaw – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER.  Now you buy him.  See how that works.

Rickie Weeks – Day to day.  Chipper, “Hey, me too!”

Toddy Coffey – Expected to get the saves while Hoffman is out.  Hoffman’s due back this weekend though.  Hastanueva!

Prince Fielder – Batting .163 on the year.  He’s killing me portly.

Matt Cain – 6 IP, 2 ER and the win.  I have a sidebet with myself that he has a better season than Lincecum.  I may welch.

Jake Peavy – 6 IP, 6 ER.  Peavy didn’t take his malaria pills and came down with a bad case of the Renterias.

Jay Bruce – Homered in his return to play.  Sonavabench!

Joey Devine – Will miss the season.  Left side of the mouth says, “Fore,” the right side of the mouth says, “Gone.”

Ryan Braun – 5-for-5, 2 HRs.  Rumors after the game were swirling that Moyer gave up both blasts so Braun would agree to a date with his granddaughter.

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday.  Someone’s pulling away with the Davis/Reynolds HR crown.

Jarrod Washburn – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks.  He’s been dynamite so far.  I wish I had him in my AL-Only league, but I wouldn’t trust him in any mixed league short of a 15 teamer.

Ryan Freel – To the DL with head trauma.  He said he was fine and could’ve avoided the DL.  Farney thought better of it.