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You Know You're a Razzballer When...

Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 4:20 pm
by Simply Fred
So, I naturally ended the discussion with “...Cust kayin’.” She said, “Huh? What did you just say?”

“Oh, sorry. It's a Razzball term for “Just sayin'.” There's this player named Jack Cust and he's known for striking out a lot. And, you know, K is for a strikeout. So, it's appropriate when using his name to use K with it. And, since Kayin'--it really should be spelled K'in--is similar to sayin', well, it's kind of a fun play on words to just say “Cust kayin’” in place of “just sayin'.”

My wife loves me. She gave me THE LOOK. The one that says “Honey, you lost me at 'Jack'. I don't know what planet you are on right now, but enjoy your happy place.” The verbal response was: “That's nice.”

If you find yourself in these situations and you are still in your relationship, she loves you.

You Know You're a Razzballer When...

She comes home from the appointment: “She said that if I take these natural supplements for 3 months, that should diminish the hot flashes, then another 3 months of these should really make a difference in the mood swings, and ...” Hello, Dr. Freeze.

You're at the game. Farnsworth do what he do. You blurt, “There's your Cuddle Boy.” “I'd never cuddle HIM!” She's a Razzballer!

Sitting in your season box seats at A T & T Park, Broxton closes it out. “Yessss!” She says, “How can you possibly be rooting for the Dodgers?!” You come clean: “I'm Fucking My Stepsister.” (Fucking Your Stepsister) Stepsister is actually sitting in the seats in front of you.

“Honey, I know I am experiencing a case of the Caminitis, but I want you to remember that night in the Caribbean.”

“Honey, it's the third Monday of the month. Your turn to vacuum.” Dustied again.

Grandson, sleeping between you and the wife, kicks. “Honey what's wrong?” “It's NOTHING!!!” Just Jockular Sphincteritis.

Granny celebrates her 69th birthday for the third year in a row. That would be a Latin 69.

“Can Papa blow out ALL of those candles?” “Don't worry, honey. He's a Leftosaurus.”

That dinner she cooked for you during courtship—her mother cooked it. She's never put even ONE meal on the table that stands up to YOUR mother's! You got Pronk’d.

You stubbed your toe two weeks ago. “Get off your ass and wash the car. Quit Pulling a Kotchman.”

She lays there like a log. “Babe, that was Razztastic.” “Well, thank you, honey.”

She f's your roommate. Turned out to be a Roofie.

Every time you are in the mood, she goes out with the girlfriends. She's got Scott Downs’ Syndrome.

She yells out: Sparkakis! Yeaaaa! (He isn't visiting, is he?)

She goes shopping with her sister and returns with packages falling out of the trunk. “Sis' asked me to store these so Harry wouldn't know about them.” Ticker Shock.

“Babe, I have been drooling for Nike Squareheads!” “Those are for Harry.” Ticker Tease

“Babe, what do ya' say? Let's take the kids to The Town that Bobby Grich Built!”

“Babe, I'm Yawnstipated.” “I'll get the ex-lax.”

At Sunday service you whisper, “Time to Pass the Daiquiri!”

Re: You Know You're a Razzballer When...

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:02 am
by Simply Fred
Just moving this up to refresh.

Re: You Know You're a Razzballer When...

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 7:46 am
by nmdunkel
HA! That's great stuff, dude!

Re: You Know You're a Razzballer When...

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:47 am
by and1mcgee
one of the best posts ever!

Re: You Know You're a Razzballer When...

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:35 am
by Simply Fred
Thanks! Had fun doing it!