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Simply Fred
Posts: 402
Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:15 am


Postby Simply Fred » Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:35 pm

Clay Aching to Fill Sox Gloryholz
# 1 Turnip Says: July 22nd, 2009 at 3:30 am
How do you come up with them there wacky post titles? Because you seem like a busy guy who probably has the entire MLB package on cable. Do you just THINK funny things all day? That’s the job to have; be the go to guy who delivers the line. Like there’s a room full of razzball writers all sittin’ round eating beef jerky and mouthin’ witty post titles. Then the closer walks into the room and delivers “the line”. Everyone just sits there silently nodding their heads in awe like Matt Berry bobblehead night. Is that you Grey? Are you that closer guy?

Thought I'd take a stroll down memory lane:

Later, Joe Blowrowski

F-Her ‘N the A’s

Scherzer Schtarts

Cliff Lee Cures Blindness

Jonesing For Chipper

Buy Alexis For The Price Of a Toyota

Brawl Four

Joba the Hurt

Karabell’s a Wanksta
On my way back from a charity fundraiser for koalas who are addicted to pot (This is why koalas sleep 23 hours a day!), I started thinking about the ways I could make this a better world — in addition to the koala relief work.

CC Signs After Reggie Mentions Candy Bar Opportunity: On Tuesday, Brian Cashman, the Yankees GM, flew to California to speak with CC Sabathia about him signing with the Yankees. The conversation went like this:
“I wanna play on the West Coast.”
“We can have In N Out Burger shipped to the East Coast.”
“Same day?”
“Don’t get greedy.”
CC opens up the book he’s been reading, How to Serve the Rally Monkey.
“Fine, next day.”
“CC’s a Yank!”

Cole In Oscopy

Oblique Hassles
The Hoff Where have all the groin pulls gone?

Glove Is In The Air

Attention Deficit Drops You have ADD and you have no idea how this sentence will end because you’re already reading the comments. You drafted Hanley and traded him for Bonifacio. You’re glad Marco Scutaro has 3rd base eligibility so you can drop Chris Davis. Webb is lucky he was DL’d because you were about to drop him for Kevin Millwood. You’re trigger finger is itching and only Nyjer Morgan can scratch it. You’re also potentially losing your league in April.

Papi Goes The Weasel And David Ortiz goes pop. For Patriots’ Day, the Sawx had a special throwback day where Varitek went yard, Pedroia acted like an MVP and David Ortiz acted less jenky than he had all season.

Cuban Missile Crisis For owners bemoaning Al-Ram’s bad start, it could be worse. You could have Whore-Ram (Horacio Ramirez). (BTW, only fantasy baseball could convince a straight man that a Man-Ram is more preferable to a Whore-Ram. BTW II, How do you go from a Whore-Ram to a Man-Ram? An Ass-Cab (Asdrubal Cabrera).) Or you could have Ram-Ram. (Boston’s Ramon Ramirez who, actually, is 1-0 with 8 scoreless innings…damn Ram-Ram!)

Doumit All To Hell!

Chris Davis Slims Down AVG On Special K Diet Chris Davis has 42 Ks in 88 ABs. That’s a pace of about 300 Ks.

Catch Me If You McCann ...Well, going into that year, I discovered girls. And all of their fleshy parts. But I also needed glasses. Who was I? Chris Sabo? Chris Sabo got laid once. And he paid for it. So I took the easy way out and never wore my glasses. My baseball career paid for it big time. But I touched a boob!

Luke Warm on Hochevar

Court Lester

Wieters Washes Up On Chesapeake From Hype-o-Cane

Jake and the Fatman
Carlos Zambrano in his own special way welcomed the Cubs new arrival, Jake Fox, with a shizzfit of epic proportions. Zambrano was ejected for bumping an ump, I especially enjoyed when the ump ejected him and he then ejected the ump. I’m out of order? No, YOU’RE out of order! Somewhere Michael Barrett flinched. Jake Fox can do it all. And, like Tyra Banks would say, he can do it fiercely.

Kelvim’s at Absolute Zero

Romero Is No Joker

Buy It Like Beckham

Brewers Float Up the Fe-Lopezian Tubes

The Classic of Classics:

Downs Goes… Frasor!

What's your favorite?

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Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:51 pm


Postby Grey » Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:53 pm

Buy Alexis For The Price Of a Toyota

Which is Rudy's, btw. I'm not an egotist.
Grey Albright

If you want me to look at your team, post the team. Don't post a link to another site where the team is.
Have you given me all the info I need to judge your team? The number of teams in the league is a good start for the big overall questions.
Is your league H2H? Roto?
I don't know who's on your waivers. Don't just ask me who you should pick up. Give me names to choose from.
If you only have one team, post your team in your signature with the league parameters.
I don't know every single matchup for next week, so if you want me to choose a player for the following week and you think the matchups are important, tell me who they're facing.
There's more than one player with the same last name? Then spell out who you're talking about.

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Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 2:30 pm
Location: Las Vegas, NV


Postby inertiatic » Thu Jul 23, 2009 12:07 am

CC Signs is hilarious. That's my vote for #1. But today's Clay Aching is a close second.
10 tm H2H Dynasty (3rd Year)
7X7 + TB, OPS & Holds, QS
C- Weiters
1B- Goldy
2B- Ever-Cab
3B- Longoris
SS- Tulo
OF-(start 3) Braun, C. Davis, Kemp, Marte, Cuddyer
UTIL- Votto, one of the above OF
Bench- 1 spot for a hot-schmotato

SP- Greinke, Latos, M. Moore, Medlen, Iwakuma, Hamels, Gausman, E. Ramirez, H. Bailey, T. Walker, J. Tallion, M. Pineda, I. Nova
RP- A. Reed, R. Soriano, G. Holland, Balfour, D. Smyly
DL- B. Beachy

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